"Does 'Feel' work with a disrespectful horse?"
I was asked this question by a deeply frustrated owner of a seasoned appy mare at lunch, after an introductory demonstration one Saturday morning. My heart sank a little as she asked the question – I’m not sure if it was the disdain in her voice for the horse, the personal way she had received the undesired responses from the mare, or a connection with the sense of despair and disappointment when you are trying your darnedest to do the very best you can and it just isn’t working for that horse, for squat.
“What would you say ‘disrespectful’ actually means, to you, when it comes to the horse?” I asked the group of friends, huddled around the table. We chatted a bit about how those two words ‘respect’ and ‘disrespect’ most often seem to be used to describe how well the horse complies with what the handler/rider had in mind. I turned to the appy lady.
“Could you give me an example of what you mean when you say the mare is ‘disrespectful’?”
I listened at some length to a story that was busting to come forth. She had bought the mare just a few months before, after deciding to get back into horses. “Anyone could ride her – she was a kids’ horse”, she said. “But she refuses to go anywhere for me, just plants her feet and that’s it. I’ve tried everything. Nothing works. She just says NO.”