As a dear student Bid Webb reflected in a daze about her changed partnership so aptly put it, “It’s not the little things, it’s the BIG things IN the little things.”
We were chatting at the end of our deep-dive clinic into the questions that are on the minds of many a horse-lover:
How do you know which small particle of feel to adjust, so you make the difference for your horse?
That’s where I can help. I offer informal instruction in connection theory and training through in-person and online mentoring. I teach you focused practices that foster a mindful awareness of the feel you are offering, so you can develop your connection in ways that really matter to your horse.
It’s a bit like being handed a finer set of brushes so you can express what you’d like with more precision, and shift away from the reliance on escalating pressure for results. Instead, develop connection that touches your horse on the inside and flows through his feet, with his or her mind in your fingertips.
With feedback from horses and students in person and through virtual coaching since 2015, we together mine, refine, define and structure how to get good at this step by step, with the detail you need to do it yourself.
That's why I created TrueFlow®, to make these skills more accessible.
The trail has been cleared and carefully mapped out for you! Now you need a little time (less than you think) and focus to resolve partnership connection glitches – even if you’ve been stuck for a long time – so you can enjoy getting into flow with your horse, and explore that deeper place of partnership we seek.
Take a look at my free video series or book a Strategy Call to discuss a challenge you are having with your horse or simply your interest in developing a closer, collaborative connection,
It's much more fun when we are in this together!
Now we have our ‘higher bandwidth’ connection and have fine-tuned the Feel we present through our tools, we need the third key to add clarity, even value, from the horse’s viewpoint.
Virtually every problem that arises in our handling of horses and riding boils down to one small thing:
Where does the next foot go next? And... how does it Feel between you and your horse?
If a horse is concerned, he steps away. If he takes over, his next foot goes off course. If he needs to save himself, his next foot might go higher or further than expected.
Convention teaches us to direct or correct the horse ‘against’ the flow of the horse’s feet, through our use of pressure. Our timing is ahead of or behind the horse’s own flow: we’re early or late!
We miss the horse’s timing. And we miss the most important thing to a prey animal: where he needs to put his feet, when and how fast to feel safe. It’s how he is wired. Conventional pressure and its timing challenges a decision the horse already made to fulfill his core need vs. guide him to provide for that need. We erode his trust, confidence and interrupt Flow.
When we find out how easy (really!) it is to guide our horse’s feet from within his Flow instead, it has a dramatic effect on the horse’s trust and confidence as well as inspiring his interest in what we do together – it feels like a private conversation with his most deeply-wired awareness.
The conventional ‘red pen’ focus on what must be corrected or isn't right yet shifts and we enter instead the deep now of true connection.
As a student posted, “You have shown me the door to Wonderland”.
Take a look at some simple adjustments in your Feel you can try to help your horse at home.
This open connection we initiate feels like ‘higher bandwidth’ access to our horse came available. With this comes the second key: the opportunity to refine our use of our tools.
Conventionally a carefully timed release of pressure highlights the desired response and rewards the horse. Much can be achieved this way, so where’s the problem?
Say we ask our horse to yield his hind-quarters – for example by directing pressure towards the hip using the end of the lead-rope – and the horse steps over. Did he follow our Feel or avoid its promise of pressure?
If we then reward him immediately by dropping the pressure like a hot potato, to emphasize his correct response, what does the horse actually experience as the reward? A dropped connection from us. Wait! Didn’t we want to build a closer connection?
When our Feel includes a series of “connection hang-ups”, like a bad cell phone connection, the depth of conversation will take on a natural limit and lacks Flow.
When we add finer brushes to our art, our expression becomes clearer, more refined and our brace gives way to grace.
We do this through simple presentations of Feel in the rope/rein between your hand and the horse’s halter/bridle. We combine these skills with a set of releases that shape and direct without pushing pressure from us towards the horse - and without the dependendce on preceding pressure to release.
This allows our Feel to go through the horse’s body to his feet, instead of to the body and at his feet.
The question I’m most frequently asked is:
“How do I get a better connection with my horse?”
I remember this well – the uncomfortable feeling that the connection was just not there, or not as I had hoped. Chase seemed to hold something back if I’m honest. Ouch. But why?
Here are two reasons, and so simple really!
First, the use of pressure teaches us to have a Feel of carrying a ‘red pen’: with a degree of pressure in our initial request, we watch for what to correct. This creates mental, physical and emotional distance.
Second, our decisions about when to add pressure coincide with when our horse feels unclear, unsure, unwilling (or even unsound or unwell). This means we brace in response the initial loss of connection, which unfortunately pushes the horse away further.
These practices unwittingly restrict or drop connection and interrupt Flow. The good news is the one thing we can surely change is what we do!
When we remember that the connection we seek can begin in us, we unlock the first key. We become mindful of offering the connection we seek, for the horse to feel back to. This open connection allows a different conversation rooted in access to each other to begin – we increase our ‘bandwidth’!
And from there we bring focus to the Feel of what we want, while blending awareness of our horse’s experience and viewpoint. We show our horse exactly what we want and how, from where he is - instead of “noise” around what we don’t want for him to sort out.
Horses love clarity, especially within the good feel of connection.
