1. The Game Changer
“How do I get a better connection with my horse?” is the big question.
I remember all too well the uncomfortable feeling that the connection with my horse Chase was just not there, or not as I had hoped. He seemed to hold something back if I’m honest. Ouch. But why?
For us there were two reasons, and so simple really!
First, I hadn't meant to, but as I developed some precision and consistency around a "judicious use of pressure", I had also developed a watchful eye for what was not right yet - in other words... wrong. This had created mental, physical and emotional distance.
Second, when I thought about it, decisions about when to add pressure had a way of coinciding with when my horse actually felt unclear, unsure, unwilling (or even unable). This meant I was bracing in response to the initial loss of connection, which unfortunately pushes the horse away further.
Chase led me to understand this around 2009. I had started giving clinics around that time and it turned out this resonated with quite a few people. WE were unwittingly blocking or dropping connection - what I now call interrupting Connection Flow.
The good news is the one thing we can surely change is what we do!
Connection Begins in YOU!
When we remember that the connection we seek can begin in us, we unlock the first key. We become mindful of offering the connection we seek, for the horse to feel back to. This open connection allows a different conversation rooted in true access to each other to begin – we increase our ‘bandwidth’!
And from there we bring focus to the Feel of what we want, while blending awareness of our horse’s experience and viewpoint. We show our horse exactly what we want and how, from where he is - instead of “noise” around what we don’t want for him to sort out.
Horses love clarity, especially within the good feel of connection.
